Sunday, September 7, 2008

Reflective Moments

As I sit here tonight working on pictures I took last week - I reflect back on motherhood.

I wanted to be a mom, but I was young and fearful of how good a parent I would be.

I was thrilled to welcome my son in 1985, a cute little bundle of energy. Always moving, always running warm. Sleeping in just a diaper in Feb. he was content.

When my daughter was born in 1987, I relished her sweet delicate and long fingers. How beautiful she was.

Still the fear in me stayed, would I be a good mom? Would my kids be happy with me? Can I teach them all they need to know in order to survive the harsh and weird world we have? Would they have lifelong friends to share the special moments of their life? Would they become the success that THEY want to achieve? I knew these were fears most parents go through but these were mine.

I have seen my kids go through many stages of growing up. Watched them make some friends both good ones and bad. I have seen my son through the death of a peer and the joy of his high school graduation. Been there when my son has gotten stitches in a battle with a tennis racket and a broken thumb after mountain biking. I watched as my daughter made friends with 4 girls in 1st grade and continues to be best friends with LAK, and good friends with the other 3. I have enjoyed taking my daughter places. We have seen one of her 4 friends get married this summer.

I have always told my children I think the best thing they can do with their life is to try and continue their education and strive to be the best that they can be. I was thrilled that my son decided to work and go to the local community college for a little more than 2 years. He then decided to quit school and work full time. Also choosing to move out into a house with a friend. Recently he told me he intends to go back to school. That is all the information I have so far but I am thrilled.

My daughter - she is starting her senior year at the U of O. I can't believe that the years since her graduation has gone by so, so quickly. She has been doing this mostly on her own as we are so dang in debt. She has less than a year to figure out what happens next but she has a good head on her shoulders and I am sure she will.

So... back to why I started this - this week I wanted to take pictures of my daughter and her longtime friend. Kind of like Senior pictures done in high school. The day was really, really bright and the girls didn't get into it as much as I wished. But I did manage to get a few good shots of them together and separately. I was amazed at the maturity these young women have acquired. They are both smart and beautiful, both inside and out.

I see a drive in these 3 young people of my life. They inspire me. Making me wish I had done more with college. Become more than I am. Now realizing that I want to go back but things are out there that prevent me from it. I wish much success and wisdom for my son, daughter, her best friend and all they touch.

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